Day 25

I remember as a kid, I thought I wanted to be a missionary someday. I think every kid who grows up in church goes through that phase! I dreamed of going to a far away country and teaching children about Jesus and in my dreams it was always Africa or Mexico. Yeah, I know qute a difference between the two, right? Not sure why Africa, but I know why I dreamed about Mexico. When we lived in Idaho, we used to go to the migrant labor camps and hold church services for the workers. The little kids always got to me, even though I was still a kid myself.  A few years later, I went to a program put on by Wycliffe Bible translators with a friend. They showed us a very abbreviated lesson on how you learn to communicate and translate the Bible in a language that has no written form. I don't remember all of it, but it was very fascinating.

I never did "become a missionary". As I got older I think - no, I know - I got scared of what all that might entail and closed my mind to it.  Of course, life goes on and other things happened. Normal, every day stuff that we all go through; finishing school, getting married, raising a family, working, etc. Every once in awhile, I would think about how my life would be different if I had chosen that path. While I don't regret the decisions I made at the time, I do regret that I was too chicken to pursue it and see where it would lead. Three years ago, if you would have asked me if I was interested in a missions trip I would have said no. Too many responsibilities and too many other things going on at the time. I still miss Jim every day, but now that my circumstances are different and I have the opportunity I'm taking it!

I usually prefer to be a more "behind the scenes" type person so this is WAY outside my comfort zone. It's still kinda scary to be doing this...but it also feels right. I'm not worried about the food (I'm an adventurous eater!) or the "squatty potties" so perhaps it's more the sense of responsibility that this trip brings. Of course, I want to be a good reflection of Life Christian Center and Pastor JD, but it goes beyond that even. Will I say the right thing at the right time? Will these kids see Jesus in me, someone who cares about them as individuals? Or just some tourist person handing out little toys? What if this is what I was meant to do? How will I know for sure and more importantly - will I have the courage to follow through this time?

So many questions to ponder for the next 25 days.....